Funny Stuff
by Jam.MastahXJay
Summary: A random story I thought of while I was sick. And I'm not sure if I'll continue making the story, unless ya'll want me to. R&R!
1. The Thong

"Mmm! Delicious!" Kuwabara said happily, eating some clams. The rest of the people agreed. Yukina smiled. She was glad her friends had liked her cooking.

Keiko looked around, and didn't see Yusuke.

"Hey, where's Yusuke?" she asked everyone. Shizuru shrugged.

"More likely in the bathroom," came Kurama's response. Keiko did a mushroom sigh before eyeing Kuwabara.

"Kuwabara, do you know where Yusuke is?" Before Kuwabara could answer, in came in Yusuke. He had a perverted grin on his face. Keiko and Botan stared at him funny.

"Yusuke, what's up?" Botan asked, sipping some tea. His grin got wider.

"OK, who wears cheetah-patterned thongs?" he asked eagerly. Everyone but Yukina nearly choked as Yusuke held up the, uhh... cheetah-patterned thong.

"W-what?!" Keiko asked after breathing deeply. Yusuke pointed an accusing finger at Botan in a playful way.

"Botan, do you wear thongs?"

SLAP!!

Yusuke held his cheeks. Keiko and Botan had both slapped them hard across the face. He rubbed his cheeks.

"OK, ow. Obviously Botan doesn't wear thongs... Keik- I dare you to fuckin' ask me that question, Yusuke Urameshi!" Keiko threatened, cutting Yusuke off. He sweat dropped.

"All right... We can cross off Keiko on the list of thong-owners..." Yusuke looked at the two remaining girls with hopeful eyes.

_"Man, if Yukina is the one that wears thongs- Yusuke, I will get JJ to fuckin' castrate your ass if you even **think **of my sister like that," _Hiei's angered voice told Yusuke in his thoughts. Yusuke sighed and then got a mental image from Yukina in a thong.

_"Yusuke, is this what you wanted?" Yukina asked him in an innocent voice. Yusuke nodded and grinned pervertedly as he stood up._

_"That's **ex-ac-tly **what I wanted, Ice Baby."_

Hiei stood up and tackled Yusuke to the ground. He grabbed Yusuke's throat and gripped it so hard that his hand was starting to turn a white color. Even whiter than Hiei's pale skin!

"I warned you!" Hiei snarled. Yusuke had foam coming out of his mouth. Yukina gasped and ran to them. She tried to make Hiei stop by grabbing onto his arms and pleading.

When that didn't work, she put him in a headlock.

"LET HIM GO!!" Yukina screeched. Everyone stared in awe at Yukina being so strong. Hiei immediately let Yusuke go.

"OK!! OW, DAMMIT!!" Yukina let Hiei go and patted his head.

"Thank you for listening, Brother," she told him.

"Where in the hell did you learn that?!" Hiei, Kuwabara, and Kurama asked her. She shrugged.

"Well, I am related to Hiei. That's one. Another is I see fighting all the time, either on the television or when Team Urameshi was fighting in the Dark Tournament. Oh, and the other is that JJ- Aww, dammit," Hiei said in a depressed voice, cutting off his twin.

Yusuke blinked and shuddered.

_"Of course JJ would teach Yukina how to fight and/or defend herself," _he thought bitterly. Then he remembered something and he pointed to Shizuru in a disgusted way.

"You're the thong-wearer!" he accused. Both the Kuwabaras stood up angrily.

"What the fuck, Urameshi?!" Kuwabara hollered.

"Likewise!" Shizuru screeched. "I'd never wear a thong!" Yusuke sighed annoyingly.

"Well, someone's lyin'," he announced, looking deep in thought. "Shizuru, I think it's you."

"Oh geez, thongs suck! They ride up your ass-crack and it sucks!" Shizuru complained. Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara's eyes widened in shock.

"You honestly think any of us wanna know _that, _Woman?!" Kurama and Hiei shouted simultaneously. Kuwabara smacked them.

"Don't be sayin' shit about my sister!" he warned. Hiei growled at him.

"Hey, who wants to 'fess up about the underwear?" Yusuke asked irritabely, holding up the pair and stretching it out with his fingers.

"Yusuke, don't they belong to _you?_" a familiar sarcastic voice asked. Yusuke and Hiei groaned.

"Hi JJ," Yukina greeted as JJ walked into the dining room. JJ looked at Yusuke with a funny look.

"I'm not jokin'. I thought you wore dumb stuff like that." Yusuke's eye twitched.

"Do you own any thongs?" he asked, holding up the thong up high. JJ grunted.

"That's fuckin' sick, _idiota! _Besides, I wouldn't touch those if I were you," she warned. Yusuke laughed idiotically.

"Why? Do _you _know who owns these?" he asked. Everyone in the room turned to look at JJ. She shrugged.

"I have an idea on who might own 'em, so put them _dooown._" Yusuke stuck his tongue out at her as he sniffed the thong.

"Mmm!" JJ looked like she was ready to puke, and she never pukes!

"Yusuke, no joke, no lie. Put that damn thing down!" Yusuke shook his head.

"Nah..." Then, someone knocked on the door, and everyone turned to see who might be at the door.

"Who is it?" JJ called out.

"The fuckin' pizza man. WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?!" JJ shrugged.

"The pizza man?" she guessed. Botan shot her a dirty look as she opened the door. In came in Genkai, and she looked pissed.

"Hey Grandma!" Yusuke greeted happily. Genkai flipped him off.

"All right, I'm trying to- Oh, there they are!" Genkai snatched the thong from Yusuke. "I need them for tonight." Yusuke's chocolate brown eyes widened in horror.

"I warned ya," JJ said, shrugging. Yusuke winced as Genkai left the room, thong in hand. Hiei, Kuwabara, and Kurama looked at Yusuke, who turned a green color.

"That was- I held them- I _sniffed _them!" Yusuke stuttered. JJ snickered before busting out laughing, as well as the rest of the people, other than Yusuke.

"Oh God!" Yusuke ran out the room, gagging. "That's fuckin' SICK!!" Then, vomiting noises were heard.

"Oh God..." Hiei muttered. JJ shook her head. This was a _loooooooong _day.

* * *

Well, this was interesting. Huh. Well, I _did _warn Yusuke about the thong-thing. But he never listens. (shrugs)

So, want this story to be completed, or do you want this to be continued, peoples? I'm leavin' it all up to you... So, review! :3 BYYYYYYYE!!


	2. The YYH Album!

Devil Tigeress- Thanks for the review! :) But trust me, I don't think anyone will wanna know why Genkai wears a thong. -.-º

Fujiko Kuwabara- Thanks for the review! :3 I just took a guess at what Shizuru might say if Yusuke ever accused her of something like that. O.o :P

Just 2 Dream Of You- Thanks for the review! X) I like making people laugh now. :)

PedroCullenBloomTM- Yeah, it _is _wrong. O.o XD

OK, colons :JJ: will be song lyrics. And seriously, I favor the other story better than this one. It's probably something... _different, _per say. But I like this, it's just that I like the other story better.

* * *

Hey, hey guys! Wanna get a really awesome CD that'll make your friends envy you?! Well, here it is, The YYH Album!! The YYH Album!! has songs sung by the YYH gang! And the songs are as followed;

I Shot The Human by Hagari Kaname, The Sniper!

:Sheriff Enma always hated me;  
For what I don't know  
Every time that I shot a human,  
He said, the murders all grow:

And there's this hit single;

Run Bitch, Ruuun! by Hiei

(Hey H-Hiei, I didn't mean to do that) Run Bitch, Ruuun!  
(Ay Shorty, I really love you, _ese_) Run Bitch, Ruuun!  
(Is Yukina-) Betta Run, Bitch, RUUUN!!  
(Can I be your mate-) Run now, Bitch!

... OK, this isn't for little kids... All righty, here's one;

My Name Is by Kurama

... No way-

:Hi, my name is-  
What? My name is-  
Who? My name is...  
Ku-Ku-Kurama...:

(Off camera; Remind me to _castrate _Kurama)

(Back on camera)

Anyways, here's ANOTHER!!

My Waist is Wide by Keiko

... Talk about hating yourself, Keiko. ¬¬ Seriously, she tells _me _to love myself! HYPOCRITE.

:Oh baby, when you cook like that  
You make a woman go mad  
So be wise, and keep on  
Licking the sauce off my body

And I'm on tonight  
You know my waist is wide  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection:

... Yeah, this was a MAJOR diss to Shakira, so... BEAT THAT, SHAKIRA!! Now, let's move on;

Sisters Just Don't Understand by Kuwabara

Oooh, I hope Shizuru isn't around.

:You know, sisters are the same  
No matter time, nor place  
They don't understand that us bros  
Are going to make some mistakes

So to you other bros all across the land  
There's no need to argue;  
Sisters just don't understand:

... Huh, this could be a hit! :D

Baby Got Ass by Yusuke

NO!! H!LL TO THE F!CKIN' NO!! YUSUKE, YOU AREN'T GONNA SING THIS!! NO ONE, _NO ONE, _WILL MAKE FUN OF SIR MIX ALOT!! YOU F!CKING A!!HOLE B!TCH!! I'LL CASTRATE YOUR F!CKING A!! ON A COMMERCIAL!! A!!HOLE!!

SH!T-

(police sirens wail)

... D!mmit, I knew I smelled bacon! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, BASTAR-

_Beeeeeeeeeep..._

:Fifteen seconds later:

(Camera is still rolling)

NO!! I'LL PULL A F!CKING LUPIN III ON YOUR A!!ES, SO LEMME GO!! I'M INNOCENT!!

Ma'am-

I'MMA DUDE, YOU F!CKING OFFICER!!

_Beeeeeeeeeep..._

... OK, there's many more hits on this CD! Call now at 123-4589 to order your The YYH Album!! to help raise money for getting JJ outta jail! :D

I'd say JJ belongs in jail...

Shuddup, Hiei!

Hn. Oaf.

My name is Kazuma Kuwabara, Shrimp!! DX Hey, when does that guys who talks really fast gonna come on?

Now.

... Err, thanks Hiei?

Hn.

The-YYH-Album!!-is-1-dollar-plus-1.32-dollar(s?)-for-S&H!!  
BUY-ONE-CD-GET-CHUCK-HUBER'S-AUTOGRAPH-FOR-FREE!!-AND-YOU'LL-ALSO-MEET-HIEI!!

(in a random house)

Mom, is JJ carving a turkey?

... Tyler. Bed. Now.

* * *

To understand "Tyler and the turkey" thing, you'll have to read a story I made on FictionPress. (But you don't have to, it's only if you wanna :P)

I understand if you didn't like this, or you just liked the other story better. I kinda liked this now that I've re-read this. (sigh) Oh yeah...

BUY A YYH CD!! There's a thirty-year old something guy giving me a glare and I'm fighting him off with my prison shank. (waves shank in the air)


	3. A Question

Devil Tigeress- Thanks for the review! I have no idea when the CDs'll come out. -,-º You're talkin' to a wanted criminal.

Just 2 Dream Of You- Thanks for the review! I'll need to get out of jail. This place is giving me the creeps.

* * *

"Nu-uh!"

"Yuh-huh. I read about it. It could be true."

"... No fucking way! Hiei?!" JJ nodded. She and Yusuke had been having this conversation for the past three _hours. _JJ was starting to get annoyed.

"Yes, little short, emo Hiei. He could! He might be!"

"Nu- Yusuke, say that one more time and I'll tell Keiko that you're still jerking off to Playboy _and _Playgirl." Yusuke's eyes widened.

"OK! ... But seriously? Hiei?" JJ nodded.

"I read it on the Web. I laughed at it, but then I thought about it. Think about Hiei for a few minutes, Yusuke." Yusuke closed his eyes and stayed like that for a few minutes. Then, they popped open.

"EWW!!" he screeched, shaking his head. "Now I'll have nightmares!"

"Of course. But to confirm if it's true, _you'll _have to ask him." Yusuke growled.

"ME?!"

"HELL YEAH!! NOW GO ASK HIM!!" Yusuke hung his head as he walked away to find the short cosplayer.

:A FEW HOURS LATER:

"HIEI!!" Yusuke screamed, his voice _finally _going hoarse. Still no sign of Hiei... Swell.

"What do you want?!" the familiar angered voice called out. Yusuke beamed.

"Hiei, I have to ask you something!" he said, looking up where Hiei sat in a tree. Hiei blinked and groaned disgustedly.

"If this is about your Playgirl Magazine flings again, skip it." Yusuke shook his head.

"I was talkin' to JJ, and she told me something that might be true," he started. Hiei gulped.

_"He didn't find the stash of Youko Kurama pictures I have, did he?! But then again-"_

"Hiei, are you a girl?" Hiei fell out of the tree.

"WHAT?!" Hiei screeched, giving Yusuke a death glare.

"Well... yeah." Hiei growled loudly.

"Ha-hah, you sound like my lawnmower," JJ said, suddenly appearing at Yusuke's side.

"YAAAAAHHH!!" Yusuke screamed, jumping away from her and getting into a weird fighting pose.

"What? You act like you're staring at a monster," JJ commented, putting her hands on her hips.

"Hey, what the hell was with that question, _JJ_?" JJ flipped him off.

"Look, I was reading this profile this about Yukina and Hiei, to see if they were really siblings or not, and I read that Hiei might be a manly-girl," she began to say.

"WHAT?!" JJ took out duct tape from nowhere and ripped off a piece. Then, she put said piece on his mouth.

"Shut your fuckin' mouth and lemme finish. Now, I was reading that, if you think about it, Hiei's frame is exactly like Yukina's, just with 'lean muscle'... Pfft..." Hiei glared at her.

"And what?" Yusuke asked curiously.

"Hmm? Oh, and that Hiei may not have... a ding-dong." Yusuke's eyes widened before he started to laugh. Hiei growled from under the tape.

_"Wait, I can just take this off!" _Hiei ripped off the tape.

"AAAHHH!!" He held his mouth. "Fuck... And I'M NOT A GIRL." JJ blinked and whispered something to Yusuke. He stopped laughing.

"No." JJ nodded.

"Yes. I will not be able to look, in case he does have a package. So, you do it." Hiei immediately grabbed his crotch.

"No! No one'll look down there, but me!" he announced, about to run away, but JJ took out a net and just threw it over him.

"OK Yusuke, let me know if he has a Pablo down there," she said, leaving. Yusuke nodded and jumped on Hiei.

:FIVE SECONDS LATER:

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Yusuke ran away from the spot. He didn't believe what he just saw. He just won't believe it. Hiei smirked.

"Hn... Dumbass... COME BACK!!" Hiei stood up and ran after Yusuke.

* * *

... So reviewers, what's your opinion? Is Hiei really a man or a woMAN? (Sorry, cheesy pun there XD)

But I did read about Hiei might being a girl/man. Now, I just need to find the link. -.-º

Anyways, this isn't my best work. But I still like it. :D OK, buh-bye... For now...

(insert psycho music here)


	4. Horseback

Just 2 Dream Of You- O.o Umm... I'll just take a guess and Yusuke saw a HUUUGE ding-dong. Just a guess. XD

* * *

"She's got her head up in the clouds!  
Sharada, sharada  
Who knows when she'll come down?  
Sharada, sharada!" Hinageshi sang as she drove down the desolate road. She was in a desert, and she was on her way to Nebraska, but she was in Arizona, somehow. (Let's just say she's in the US)

_BA-BANG!! Thump, fffsssss..._

"Ahh..." She stopped the red convertible and got out of the car. She looked at her tires and saw the two front tires popped.

"Damn..." The short redhead leaned against the car. "Now what?"

_"Just wait for someone to come and **don't **freak out," _her conscience told her. Hinageshi nodded.

:TEN SECONDS LATER:

"YAAHHHH!! I'M GONNA DIE!!" Hinageshi wailed, banging her head against the passenger door.

_(horse whinny)_

"Wha-?" She looked up and on the road, there was a man on a brown horse with greased back hair. He had chocolate brown eyes and was wearing a loincloth over his crotch. He looked curiously at the girl.

"Yo, you need some help?" he called out. She nodded profusely, jumping up.

"My car broke down, and I'm on my way to Nebraska," she explained as the man came up to her.

"You're a _long _way from Nebraska, girl," he told her. She sighed as she nodded.

"Anyway, what's your name, Savior?" she asked curiously.

"Yusuke Urameshi," Yusuke answered in a bored voice. "Yours?"

"Hinageshi." Yusuke gave her a half-smile.

"Well, jump on," he said, extending his arm. She nodded and took it graciously. The redhead sat behind him.

"So, what's this horse's name?" Hinageshi asked, petting the horse's mane.

"Hm? Oh, Keiko," he answered. "She's a real winner..." She nodded in agreement. "OK, I'm gonna drop you off at the nearest town, so hang on." Hinageshi nodded and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"WHOO-HOOOO!!" Yusuke screamed in delight, Keiko running as fast as she could. "WHOO-HOOOOOOO!!" His scream echoed in the mountains as they began to go faster.

:AN HOUR LATER:

"WHOOOP!!" Yusuke stopped Keiko when they reached a nearby bus station. Hinageshi was wondering why he kept screaming out joyfully, but she thought it was because of the andrenaline in his veins.

"Well, thanks Yusuke," Hinageshi thanked, jumping off Keiko. "I'm going." He nodded as he slapped Keiko's buttox and ran off into the sunset.

"YAHOO!!" Yusuke screeched in the distance.

"Hmm..." Hinageshi smiled, and a station attendant with long red hair looked at Hinageshi curiously. "One ticket to Nebraska." He nodded and gave her a ticket as she gave him the money.

"Hey, what'd you do that made him yell out happily?" he asked. Hinageshi shrugged and looked at his nametag.

"Well... 'Kurama', I don't know. All I did was wrap my arms around his waistand I held his saddle horn tightly." Kurama's emerald eyes widened.

"Err... Was his name Yusuke Urameshi?" She nodded happily. "Ma'am..." Hinageshi cocked her head suspicously.

"What?" Kurama took a deep breath before he answered.

"Ma'am, Yusuke rides horses bareback."

* * *

...

No comment. :P Just review and tell me what you thought.


	5. Colors

I got this idea from a comic. ;P

* * *

"... Black." Silence.

"White." Tension broke out.

"Pink." Anime fall.

"JJ, quit saying pink!" A glare.

"Why? It's a possibility." She snapped.

"So is black." He glared at her.

"White is a possibility, too!" He was feeling left-out now.

"... Kurama, why white?"

"He's pretty clean, doncha think?" Another glare.

"Kurama, you're asking his most hateful, anti-fan... person. What the hell do you _think _I'd say?" A violent shudder.

"... Yusuke, why black?"

"It would match him."

"I'd say pink. I dunno about you guys..."

"JJ, why pink?" Silence.

"... That's his favorite color." Anime fall.

"JJ, no, it's not." A snort of laughter.

"It is in my book." Sarcasm. Right.

"It's black." The two shook their heads.

"White, say I." She shook her head, snickering.

"It's pink!!" Kuwabara sighed, annoyed. He had been listening to this conversation for the past twenty minutes. It was getting on his nerves.

"Black!" A yell.

"White!" A scream.

"PINK, DAMMIT!!" Annoying shriek. Hiei was sitting in a tree, not too far away from the spot where the four, JJ, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara, were at. He was trying to sleep, and was getting irritated by the arguing about who-knows-what.

"Damn those bastards..." He jumped down from the tree and walked to the spot where he saw the three, Kurama (white), Yusuke (black), JJ (pink) were arguing, and Kuwabara, who was looking like he was about to leave. He walked to his enemy and glared at him. Kuwabara did a sideways-glance at him.

"Hey Shrimp," he said grimly. Hiei crossed his arms.

"Hn. What the hell are these three arguing about?" Kuwabara sighed and whispered it to Hiei. His eyes widened and he punched Kuwabara hard across the face. The teen went flying. Hiei took out his sword, his face red with anger as he glared at Kuwabara.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, 'THEY'RE ARGUING ABOUT WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR I WEAR'!?!!?!"


End file.
